He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
