I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
