When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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