i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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