I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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