I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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