I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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