For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
