I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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