if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
