This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
