He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
