Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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