i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My pussy is not your playground.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
