I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
