The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
