So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
