just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
