Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
