Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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