she was so not down for the gang bang
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
