i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
