Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
