two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
