i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
