This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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