Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
