I feel great
I just peed on a car
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
