i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
