8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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