I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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