Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
