My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
