Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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