I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
