i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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