I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i would punch a child for taco bell
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
