Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
