i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
