I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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