I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Green mimosas i think yes
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
