There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
