no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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