I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
