And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
