theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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