yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
