He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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