I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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