I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We're too hungover to prance.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
