just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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